This time of year is a really difficult time for me, and maybe you can totally relate. For most people, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. But honestly, this time of year is a stark reminder of the people that are missing, overwhelming disappointments and memories of life-altering events.
Don’t get me wrong, there is always something to celebrate at Christmas. Regardless of the current circumstance or the vivid memories, Christmas is a celebration of Jesus’ birth and there is nothing that can diminish that.
But… we’re only human, and emotions are real.
There is one life-event that pops into my mind every year in December, mostly because Facebook Memories reminds me, but even if it didn’t, it was a moment in my life that is hard to forget.
Whenever I think back on the memories from this time, I try to hold onto all the good things that happened. But this year I have been overwhelmed by the realization of all the disappointments that I experienced. Probably because this year has definitely had its fair share of disappointments.
Disappointments are moments for God to wake up hope.
Let’s rewind 9 years, to 2011. It was the beginning of December, I had just passed my first year at Wits and I was planning on going on a Christian Youth Camp to the South Coast. It was the first year that I was finally able to go and I had been looking forward to it for weeks.
A few days before I was supposed to leave, I started experiencing a lot of stomach pain. There was no way I could go to D-Camp if I could barely move. So we immediately went to the doctor.
After a sonar that showed an enlarged spleen and an emergency appointment with a physician, he told me to take Panado for the pain [FYI, Panado is like a sugar tablet for me] and I should be fine in a few days.
Well a few days later, you guessed it, I was not better and so I forfeited my spot on camp [to my brother] and went on holiday with my parents so they could keep an eye on me. Cape Town was not a bad alternative for a holiday, except that I spent each day on the couch at our accommodation – fortunately with an ocean view.
It had been over a week and the pain had not improved at all.
We then went to Plettenberg Bay. Possibly my favourite spot in South Africa. My brother had joined us, and after a few days I was feeling so much better so we explored beaches, hidden gems and had the best day.
That evening, the 21st of December, I woke up in the middle of the night not able to move because of the pain. We immediately rushed to the emergency room, but due to the nature of the time of year, they asked us to come back in the morning.
The doctor on call wanted me to be admitted to hospital, but because we didn’t know how long I would be there for, we opted to rather travel home. After a few injections, I was able to walk and the pain was manageable.
We booked flights so my mom and I could get home as quickly as possible [there was no way I was going to survive a 15 hour car ride]. My dad and brother drove home, with barely any stops and late into the evening [seriously, the definition of family].
A friend fetched us from the airport and took me directly to hospital where they started tests. And for the next few days I had every test imaginable. The doctors had no idea what was causing the infection or that my spleen had tripled in size.
I had a lumbar punch, bone marrow extract, MRIs, and multiple sonars to monitor growth of my spleen. To put this all into perspective, a normal spleen is 7cm – mine was 23cm, the size of a rugby ball.
Despite the really horrible situation that I found myself in, I was surrounded by friends who loved me, and who were there to visit me every day, to cheer me up and encourage me. From handwritten notes of encouragement that I could read when I was on my own, giant teddy bears to cuddle and even ukulele caroling at my bedside on Christmas Eve. I really do have some special memories.
Fortunately I was able to spend Christmas Day at home, I was discharged for a few hours, and then went back to hospital to be monitored and wait for results.
It was a miracle, after a few days I was feeling so much better and all my tests results were negative. So I was discharged. However, we prepared to have surgery to remove my spleen in the new year because it was still a problem even though we still do not know what caused it to enlarge.
Because I was planning on going for surgery, and there was a 6 week recovery I made a decision to not study the next year. I really didn’t know if what I was studying was what I really wanted to do, and so it was the perfect opportunity to discover what I really wanted to do. But that is a blog for another time.
In the January we decided to get other opinions on spleen removals. I was still so young, and it is possible to live with an enlarged spleen. All other opinions were against the operation. And so I never went ahead with it.
Fast forward 18 months, after regular sonars to monitor the size of my spleen, which had no improvement and was still causing pain, an unexplainable miracle happened. Once a spleen is enlarged, it physiologically cannot shrink. For months my spleen was at a consistent 23cms. But one day, at a regular check-up, my spleen was 7cm.
To this day my spleen has remained a normal size. I am so thankful for God’s healing! Medical anomalies can only be God’s miracles and I am so thankful that I got to be used by God.
May you be inspired to never lose hope; even when there are so many unanswered questions and when things take longer than expected. Hope is still hope even if it’s subtle.
Wake up hope. Wake up faith. Wake up miracles.
JCS
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