Today is a big deal.
Today is a moment not to be missed.
Today is the beginning of a new adventure.
Lately I’ve been figuring out new rhythms. Actually, it’s been a seven month process of navigating new rhythms. Nothing has been familiar, and although new habits become familiar, if I’m really honest with myself; it’s all new.
However, navigating new rhythms has helped me to understand what I value,my priorities and what truly really matters.
In life I have learnt that sacrifice is part of the process of discovering all that God has for our lives. And it is only when we are genuinely willing to surrender our own desires that God gives us the desires of His heart.
A few years ago, I remember so vividly of how God challenged me to surrender all my dreams to Him. Dreams of being a wife. Dreams of being a mother. Dreams of being in full time ministry.
As I sat, tears streaming uncontrollably, in a rocking chair with my unconsolable 18 month old nephew in my arms; I realised that the reason everything was feeling too heavy to hold was because I was trying to carry a weight that was too much for me to handle.
I was holding onto dreams that were not ready for me yet.
Like picking up a weight at the gym that you’re not strong enough to lift. It didn’t mean I wasn’t ever going to realise the dream, it just meant that the dream wasn’t for now. I needed to put the overbearing weight down, and pick up a weight a little more within my capacity and continue building to gain the strength required to pick up the heavier weight in the future.
If you’ve ever been in the same place, you’ll know how difficult it is to let go of the dream. Understanding wholeheartedly that the dream needs to be put down, but not having any idea how to put it down and leave it there…
It was only until I completely surrendered [put down, walked away, and kept walking until the dream was not within reach] that I was able to pick up the dream God had for me.
I had to get to a personal place that allowed me to see my life as not defined by the person I wanted to be, but the person God created me to be, in that moment, even if that was who I was going to be forever. If all I had was Jesus, that was more than enough.
Psalm 9:1 [The Message] I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart.
In the midst of what felt like total heartbreak, God filled my heart with such gratitude. A reminder that although I had laid down every dream, my heart was still full. He was all I’d ever need.
And since that day of total surrender, I have seen God work in my heart and life in ways that can only be credited to Him.
Seven months ago I laid down a dream to pick up a new one. A dream of being a wife. It was a dream that once again required a posture of surrender.
In order to become a wife, I chose to move to a different city. I chose to reset my heart for ministry [not knowing what that might look like]. I chose to trust that if God was in it, the surrender would be worth it.
And God does not disappoint.
The past seven months have been an adventure of discovering me [the rawest version of myself], understanding who I am as a wife, daughter, sister and friend. But I am so excited for a new adventure of discovering who I am as a colleague, as well.
I am super excited to have joined the Urban Edge staff team. A beautiful family, that is truly family. What a privilege it has been to witness the love amongst the team the past few weeks as I have stepped into this role. I’m ready to take on new challenges, with some old experience. To learn, more than I could ever imagine. And just to allow God to continue shaping the life He created for me.
So.
Today is a big deal.
Today is a moment not to be missed.
Today is the beginning of a new adventure.
JCS
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