It is a wonderful thing to be reminded of God’s faithfulness when we surrender our desires wholeheartedly to Him.
It’s taken me a while to fully put into words how God has worked things out in my life, but I think it’s time I share His beautiful love story.
As a young girl I had many dreams. Dreams of who I wanted to be; my career, my relationships, what age I wanted to be married by, even when I wanted to start a family. Dreams of what I wanted my wedding to be like, who I wanted to be the photographer, honeymoon destinations, the list really could go on about all that I had dreamed for my life.
The dreams had become less about my preferences, and more about an ultimate life achievement. But as I got older, many of those dreams did not become reality.
In some ways I felt like I was a failure for not succeeding in my “dream,” when in reality what I was trying to achieve was out of my control.
Probably the most humbling experience in life is knowing that no matter how much you desire something, you cannot force your desires into reality.
Finally, during one of the most ‘out of my control’ seasons in my life, God asked me to surrender. Not an audible voice, just in a sunset. As I looked at the sky, and thought about my circumstances, I was reminded that God creates a beautiful sunset each day; unique and on time. No one is in control of the sunset, but God. No one is in control of my life, but God.
That day was the start of a process of surrender. Choosing to surrender every dream to God, knowing that He was in control.
Did I have dreams and desires for my life?
Of course.
Did they determine my success as a human being?
Not as much.
Did I need them for my life to be complete?
Not at all. Life with God was enough.
God honours those surrendered to Him.
I got to experience this personally over the past year.
Cue love story.
We had done life together for many years, served in church together, served on camps and Happenings. We spent almost every week doing life together for about 6 years but then our lives grew distant.
JM moved to Cape Town, and we watched each others lives through Facebook. I visited Cape Town a few times and each time we would meet up in person. Catch up on life but then… back to our every day lives.
[there was a moment that JM thought that our friendship could be more, but while watching the sunrise on lions head, he decided to catch up with the other friends on the hike]
To me, this friendship was sufficient, there were no expectations; just pure phileo [brotherly love].
Fast forward 7 years.
I took an opportunity to reconnect with this “old” friend. It was just a simple “hey, hope you’re doing well,” because he had been on my mind. Fifteen minute voice note conversations became weekly multiple hour video calls, until eventually we were checking in with each other every day.
In my mind, despite what it may have seemed to someone looking in, this was nothing more than friendship. It just reminded me of what life was like 7 years before when we did life together.
JM decided to travel to Joburg for “a vacation”. We had made plans to catch up in person, just your typical, “I’m in your city, let’s do dinner.”
One night, while drinking tea until 3am, I was asked a question that has shaped every decision since, “What are we doing here?”
All I knew is that I didn’t want to do life without JM.
But it was a loaded question.
We lived in different cities.
There were things we would have to consider giving up.
Would it be worth it?
Yes. Worth every moment.
On 28 August 2021, John Mark and I got married.
Was it on the perfect date that I worked out on a calendar? No
Was it where I always dreamed of getting married? No
Were all the guests I’d hoped would be there? No
But there is nothing I would change about our wedding day.
Simple. Special. Significant.
We had decided to do wedding photos privately the day after our wedding.
We chose a location, decided on our aesthetic and just let everything fall into place.
It was in the weeks leading up to our wedding weekend that I was reminded of God’s faithfulness. I had surrendered all my selfish desires to God, and He still gave me the desires of my heart.
I needed a wedding dress, but those are not so easily available if you only have 6 weeks. I found a dress, the exact one I was looking for, on the rack, in my size and was discounted by 75%. This alone was a miracle.
The location we chose, Dwarsberg Hideaway, for photos was the place we wanted to honeymoon but they have very limited availability. But, the exact dates we needed were available.
I had always dreamed of having Lad and Lass capturing my wedding, and at 5 weeks notice, were available to shoot our photos.
Psalm 37:4-5 TPT
Find your delight and true pleasure in God, and he will give you what you desire the most. Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way, you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!
God continues to pull off things, perfectly in my life. Not perfectly to me, but perfectly for me.
May you be inspired to trust, to surrender, and to find delight in God.
So that you will experience His perfectly purposed plans for your life.
JCS
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