Are you ready for a deep introspective question?
Feel free to skip answering the question if you feel that it invades your space, or you don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with yourself to open up, although I hope that with time, you will…
What is the most damaging phrase anyone has said to you?
What words have cut into who you are, and shaped insecurities that do not need to exist?
In having a conversation with a friend, we both agreed that the statement, “I’m really disappointed in you” definitely ranks as one of the top 3 most damaging statements [totally our opinion with no facts to substantiate this conclusion].
And, to make matters worse, almost every person alive has been told this phrase. Either by a parent, a teacher, or even a friend. And if we’re honest, it is a soul crushing moment – or maybe that’s just all the Enneagram type ones who feel the weight of not getting something exactly right – because we inherently want to do what is right, what will please people and what will make us feel good.
This really got me thinking about how we see God, and how I think God sees us. Too often, as humans, we see God as this Being that is always trying to find fault, as if He is waiting for us to somehow mess up, so He can tell us how disappointed He is with us.
But, and quite the opposite actually. God is not waiting for us to mess up at all. In fact, God is on the side lines of our lives, encouraging us along the journey.
I was walking around a neighborhood the other day. There were some students playing five-a-side soccer with a few supporters on the side of the field. One of the supporters was really enthusiastic, celebrating, jumping up and down and just so excited for the team who just scored a goal.
As I saw her response, I thought, I’m sure that’s God’s reaction when I win in life. But not only when I win at life, He’ll still be on the sideline supporting, and encouraging even when I’m not winning.
Because the truth is, God’s not waiting for us to fail or encouraging us to not disappoint Him. God loves us no matter what, an unconditional, selfless, never-ending love that genuinely desires for us to love Him too.
We actually could never be a disappointment to God. Our behaviour may be disappointing, but who we are as human beings, cannot be disappointing.
We need to flip the narrative on how we phrase statements in our world to make them a little more accurate in what we really mean. God gets this right, but we have mistaken what He means.
When we mess up, and get things hopelessly wrong in life, God does not say, “I’m disappointed in you.” Actually, God says, “I love you. I’m disappointed in your behaviour. But I still love you.”
Imagine a world defined by disappointing behaviour rather than disappointing humans.
Imagine a world where people are so loved that the fear of failure is not paralyzing.
Imagine a world that creates room for disappointment, because it is shelter by love.
This is God’s world.
Will you choose to create it?
JCS
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